A Messy Escape

a wish for a day that i could finally speak of life is better... or getting better and better, not bitter and bitter. i could not somehow comprehend why people has to experience unfamiliar circumstances... or at least may seemed unfamiliar to the one experiencing it. Annoying. Heartbreaking. Seductively suicidal.

when they say that life is good... and it all depends on how we see things... is very debatable. can i actually stop the nature of my emotions and the soul in me that screams for help? i don't think so. i am fighting the battle against myself. i know it is the hardest and the greatest battle of them all. but i think i am getting dumber and dumber. this phase is taking me long on a ride and that i am making this frequent excuse to myself and to my mom, and i am getting dizzy already that all i want to do is to step off the journey... to leave things on their perspective without me... inevitably, i made a messy escape.

i do not expect people to understand me nor find me... i don't want to and i never intended to make people worry about me. but that is impossible. they seem to care, and it is overwhelming. thanks though, but it never occurred to me that i am doing it so that they may pity me. unselfishly, i am doing things for my own favor. and when i get to sort things up to myself, i'll be ready to face the world and the challenges that awaits me... and be a blessing to my family and friends.

Thank you and Sorry for the worries. i am aware that i have responsibilities i left... and i am answerable to all of it. i will cope up. i made a pact to the hope that i would.

my life is a bit messy with all the decisions that i have made before and now. i am paying all the consequences. i know, that villains have done their part. thanks again. huh. this is the after math. i'll pick up everything, as much as i can, from my shattered soul and being.

Good night and I hope... i'll see all of yah still.